


Worthy of Saving

by Creativityx



Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: F/F, I want more discussions of their pain not just kissss, Just a different take on Shelby and Toni falling in love, Little bit of Fatin/Dot/Leah in the background
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-13 20:47:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29034912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Creativityx/pseuds/Creativityx
Summary: Toni and Shelby falling in love with each other from the moment Shelby gives Toni that pill to leaving the island and everything in between. Shelby never thought she was allowed to love women but with Toni? She thinks maybe it's not so bad to be understood, to help and support the one person who gave her a chance to be heard.
Relationships: Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe
Comments: 9
Kudos: 71





	Worthy of Saving

After Shelby gave Toni that pill, the other girl refused to talk to her no matter how hard she tried, and god, oh god did she try. 

Every time she caught Toni’s eyes there was this  _ anger  _ there that she couldn’t work out why, or how to ask why it was there. She was starting to think the girl was angry to be alive.

So, they spent their days apart, always assigned separately to tasks, the other girl’s not trusting it to be completed if they were put together,  _ they weren’t wrong, the first attempt at it resulting in an incomplete task and the girl’s sleeping as far away from each other as possible. _

Shelby thought that was it, they would spend however long of their lives they had left on the island hating each other until they either remain there forever… end up like Jeanette or are saved. 

She couldn’t be more wrong. By the end of the week, it seems the rest of the girl’s had grown sick of their distance.

Friday morning comes the same as always, Dot and Nora becoming the figureheads of their planning, grouping them all into twos before starting each day.

Shelby watches as Dot looks over to the notebook in Nora’s hands, working out their assigned tasks.

Toni was busy talking to Martha but Shelby heard it, the whisper before it was spoken aloud, ‘Toni and Shelby? Nora, they hate each other why would we risk rostering them together?’

Nora gave a shrug, tapping at the notebook idly with her pen, ‘Why not? We’re stuck here, I think getting along has to be a thing,’ the last words quieter, ‘ _ their glaring is starting to bother me.’ _

Dot just sighed, starting to pair everyone off until she reached the end of the list, ‘Shelby and Toni, you’re together today, to the peak of the mountain sketching more of the map for us.’

Toni’s anger couldn’t be more clear, ‘What the fuck Dot? Why would I want to work with her?’ 

Dot hit her hand against the rock behind her in response, ‘Because we’re all stuck on this shitty island together, the least we could do is not hate each other.’

‘But-‘ Toni started, throwing her hands in the air in frustration.

‘Go,’ was Dot’s huffed out response. 

Shelby watched the other girl storm off, her shoes digging into the sand with each stomp,  _ all she could do was follow. _

When she finally catches up to the girl they walk in silence, Toni stiff with every step, flinching at the possibility of Shelby grazing against her when she stepped over the meter threshold between them.

_ Shelby had never been one for just silence, an icebreaker here, hours spent trying to find out what those she loved were interested in.  _

In a world where she had lived to make sound, she’d never thought there would be someone who’s silence she couldn’t break.

_ Still, it was painful,  _ ‘Toni I-‘ Shelby found herself starting.

The other girl cut her off, ‘We’re here, let’s just get this done, then you don’t have to waste your time acknowledging me.’

She could only watch as Toni began a rough sketch of the west-most region of the island, messy and practically incomprehensible. She found herself reaching over, hand grazing the page, ‘Maybe you ought to slow down, it’s gettin’ a little messy.’

Toni pushed hard against her, pushing Shelby away ’Maybe you should!’ She lets out before throwing the book to the ground and storming off into the distance, her steps callous, the ground wasn’t stable enough to not watch your step.

_ It was only a matter of time before Toni would slip,  _ Shelby found herself running to catch up to the girl, and, in the nick of time, wrapping her arms around Toni’s waist as she began to fall.

‘Let go of me,’ Toni huffs, thrashing against Shelby to no avail, she wouldn’t let this girl fall, she refused.

After a few minutes Toni slumps in her arms, her face looking every bit defeated, ‘Why can’t you just let me hit the ground Shelby,  _ just once, let me hit the ground.’ _

She lowers Toni to the ground, following her down and sitting across from her, a hand pressed into Toni’s own, ‘Why are you so desperate to hit it? Nothing but hurt comes from the collision.’

Toni starts to draw paths in the dirt with a finger, looking everywhere but at Shelby as she croaks out her answer, ‘You should have given Martha that pill.’

Shelby clutches Toni’s hand that much tighter, rubbing her thumb against the other girl’s palm, ‘You would have died.’

A sniff escapes Toni as she continues, ’She could have died too, she deserves to live, you could have let someone as good and deserving of life, doing something fucking useful with it, die.’

She pauses the rubbing motion on Toni’s hand trying to mull over the words the girl have offered her, it almost sounded like- ‘You don’t think you’re good enough to save?’

Toni pulls away from her, her hands digging into the ground, clutching at anything she could reach in a tight grip, yanking at anything that was loose, ‘Not as good as her.’

She leans over, placing a hand against Toni’s arm, ‘You shouldn’t say you’re less than anyone, Toni, you deserve to live same as all of us, none of us asked for this and that means none of us gets to decide who gets to live and die.’ 

_ Another sniff escapes Toni,  _ Shelby can see the tears welling, choosing to ignore them, offering the girl whatever dignity she wanted to keep, ‘I’ve hurt more people than I’ve helped, hurt those I love, Martha hasn’t, Martha helps,  _ she’s so good.’  _

Shelby can’t help the pained laugh that escapes her at Toni’s words, ‘Welcome to the club,’ she looks away from the girl as she continues, quietly, ‘ _ You’re the first one I’ve been able to save.’  _

‘What do you mean?’ Toni asks. 

Shelby finds herself letting go of Toni, hoping she wouldn’t run as she worked out where to start, ‘I don’t hate you for being gay.’

Toni stands up, wiping the dirt off of her shorts, ‘You know Shelby, I kind of thought we could maybe start getting along but If we’re going here, I’m not interested, take your shit somewhere else.’

‘Wait! Please,’ She cries, grabbing at Toni’s wrist before she could walk away, ‘Will you just hear me out?’

Toni only huffs before crossing her legs and dropping back to the dirt-covered ground, waving her hand, ‘Well then, floors all yours.’

’So, there was this friend, my best friend actually, and  _ I thought it was different, _ ’ She started, desperately trying to find the words to explain the mess she left behind for this island.

‘And?’ Toni offered, knowing she wasn’t finished.

‘And, I kissed her,  _ she didn’t actually want it, want me in that way,  _ my father saw, she told my parents that it was nothing,’ she finds herself digging her hands into the dirt the same way Toni had just done.

Toni drew close to her, placing a hand on her shoulder as she moved to her side, ‘What happened? Did your parents-‘

‘ _ No, yes, no  _ god, I- I told her she was never my friend, I said awful things and just before I left for this trip, I was told she was found after she,  _ she- _

She couldn’t finish the sentence, her words turning into sobs,  _ she had hurt her in her fear, hurt Toni in her fear, of being wanted, fearing the chance to be loved as her full self, the self that wanted women, wanted her? _

She felt herself being shifted from her position and into Toni’s arms, a hand running through her hair, ‘I screwed up with a girl I love too, it sounds like we’re both shitty at being in love.’

Shelby expected it to end there, Toni seeming like someone who rarely opened up about her hurt,  _ yet, at that moment, she decided to continue. _

Toni sighed, ‘I’m just, always angry, that’s why that relationship went to shit,  _ I hurt her with my anger,  _ I don’t know if I can fix it, and you shouldn’t fix it,  _ I don’t want to be alone but the moment I’m not, I fuck up.’ _

_ She watched the girl run a hand through her hair in frustration,  _ ‘My parents are shit too but I’m starting to want to not use their crap as a reason to be angry, to hurt people,  _ to hurt you.’  _

‘So, do you feel angry around me?’ Shelby asked, biting her lip as she looked at the girl, remembering the way she spent that past week lashing out  _ or remaining silent  _ every time she tried to reach out.

‘I do, but I don’t want to anymore, the pill pissed me off but, did you-‘

‘I want you to live, yes, despite all our fighting, I want you to live, I want to know that you’re wanted and loved here,’ she returned, looking at Toni with a small smile.

‘You hated me too,’ Toni lets out, her voice wobbling on her last word.

‘We don’t have to hate each other anymore.’

_ She wasn’t expecting the tears to actually fall, the vulnerability from Toni as the girl started to fall apart, ‘ _ It’d be easier to hate me, I’m not good enough to love.’

‘Loving you doesn’t sound like a challenge, loving my Father after all he’s done? Yes.’

She pauses,  _ rubbing up and down Toni’s arms,  _ ‘I think you’ll be the easiest person I’ve put the effort in for love.’

Toni pulled back only a fraction, wiping the tears from her eyes, her brows scrunching up as she asked, ‘Love… Do you actually like girls then?’ 

She bit her lip, looking away from the girl and towards the empty expanse of the island, ‘Am I allowed?’

_ A laugh, dry from the tears the girl had just shed,  _ ’Shelbs, no one’s going to stop you from being who you are, I’ll fight anyone who tries,’ she offers before leaning in until their foreheads were almost touching, ‘Yeah, you’re allowed.’

‘Are you?’ Shelby finds herself asking.

_ A smile forms on Toni’s lips, almost gentle,  _ it looks almost odd to see her offering anything but a brunt roughness unless of course, you were Martha.

Foreheads touch, neither realising the other had begun leaning in until that collision, ‘Absolutely.’

Shelby, as she had with Becca, closes the distance, pressing her lips cautiously against Toni’s own.

_ This time, the person she’s kissing doesn’t recoil,  _ she feels Toni’s arms wrap around her waist as she starts to pull away, pulling her firmly back against her.

_ She’d kissed her boyfriend before, kissed Becca, it had never felt like this.  _

This felt warm, safe and secure, a sense of knowing in that when they finally pulled away there would be no shock, disgust or disapproval.

She wraps her arms around Toni in turn, moving so that a hand rested on the other girl’s cheek, feeling her below her before rubbing her thumb down her cheek until it lay in a caress against her neck.

‘Shelbs,’ Toni whispers out after many more kisses are shared, ‘I want you.’

Shelby reluctantly pulls herself out of their embrace, reopening her eyes at an almost lazy pace, ‘You want me?’

‘To love,’ Toni offers, grasping one of Shelby’s hands in her own, keeping her close.

‘Is this love?’ She finds herself asking, her lips still warm from their kiss.

‘I don’t know,’ Toni admits, thumbing the hem of her shirt in her spare hand, looking away for a moment before returning her gaze to Shelby, ‘We’re both kind of crappy at love, but I’d like to try with you, to not hurt someone for once.’

Shelby nods along, before leaning her head against one of Toni’s shoulders, ‘I’d like to keep saving you, a team effort, until one day, you no longer need to be saved, freedom from your hurt, our hurt,  _ maybe that could be our love.’  _

‘Yeah?’ Toni asked, ‘We’re trying this?’

‘I guess we are,’ Shelby returns, the smile on her face wider than it had ever been.

They spend the next hour sketching out the map of the west-most region together, the sketch becoming a path, a guide, a source of meaning with their minds combined.

They didn’t hold hands on the way back to camp, but when they arrived and showed the work they had done, there was a closeness between them without the physicality.

‘You guys actually did it? Made this? It’s top-tier shit,’ Fatin spoke, eyeing off their map in curiosity, before dragging Leah and Rachel over to look at it with her.

‘Could do worse,’ Rachel spoke, looking at it for only a moment before going back to what she was doing.

_ Leah gave into the enthusiasm,  _ nodding along with Fatin and letting her smack at her arm when she pointed out something she thought was good.

_ Huh. Maybe it wasn’t just them with all of these feelings. _

‘Good work,’ Dot finally spoke, looking over the map a couple of times before a satisfied smile made its way on her face, ‘Guess who’s assigned to map duty for the next week?’

‘The whole week?’ Toni groaned out,  _ not about Shelby this time she realised,  _ watching the girl eye the peak of the mountain in displeasure, ‘But the  _ climbing.’  _

‘We could all use a bit of exercise,’ Dot returned, a smirk on her face.

‘Ugh, whatever,’ Toni spoke dramatically swinging her arms around before reaching out and grabbing Shelby’s hand in her own, pulling her away.

‘You didn’t even try to be angry,’ Shelby comments once they’ve gotten some distance from the camp.

‘I thought I’d start the trying to be good for someone early, especially since I’ve got you by my side’ Toni grins, before plopping down onto her back on the sand.

‘Join me, Shelbs,’ she speaks, moving her arms idly against the sand, making a  _ sand angel? Was that what that mess was supposed to be? _

‘I’m not lying in the sand,’ she returns, looking at how where Toni was lying was partially wet.

Toni gave her a frown,  _ she thought it would be dropped,  _ instead, she was yanked by her arm to the ground beside Toni.

‘It’s wet,’ Shelby groans out, trying to push herself back onto her feet.

‘Well then just lie on top of me,’ Toni returns, raising her eyebrows playfully.

‘You’d like that,’ Shelby huffs out, moving to her knees to get back up.

A wide smile makes its way onto Toni’s face before the girl pats at her stomach receptively, ‘Oh, I would.’

_ This girl was insufferable, did she really like her? _

‘No,’ Shelby speaks, standing back up and getting ready to walk back to camp.

‘Please, Shelbs?’ Toni whines stretching out dramatically in the sand as she asks.

She could walk away from this girl, they’d kissed and sure it was amazing but she wasn’t  _ that  _ attached to her surely. 

She chances a look at Toni’s face and upon seeing that ridiculously fake pout, she couldn’t pretend she didn’t want to be close to the girl anymore.

‘Fine.’

‘Really?’

_ Shelby answers that by lying down on top of Toni,  _ leaning her head into the crook of Toni’s neck and letting out a sigh.

Toni’s response comes with the same action she offered only hours before, her arms wrapping around Shelby’s waist and pulling her close.

‘What if they see us?’ Shelby mumbles against Toni

’Then they’d just see you and me, finally not fighting, they’d probably cheer about it.’

She finds herself laughing at Toni’s answer before silence falls once more. With anyone else Shelby would be desperate to fill the quiet with any sound,  _ she had wanted to do that just this morning. _

_ But, the understanding they shared had her, for once, thriving in the silence, only the waves hitting the shore and the distant sound of the rest of the girl’s laughing together breaking it. _

The more she thinks about it, the more she begins to realise that silence in the company of someone you’d began to trust wasn’t so bad at all.

They return to camp at mealtime, sitting beside each other in the haphazard circle they’d all created around the fire.

Fatin nudges Leah as she looks over at the two of them and Leah speaks up, ‘So did you two like sort through your shit together or something?’

Shelby works towards looking for a response that isn’t I kissed Toni, talked through pain and really really liked it every moment of it before a voice cuts her thoughts, ‘Did you sort through yours yet book girl?’ Toni returns.

Leah lets out a loud grumble at that response, looking ready to shout before calming when Fatin places a hand against her arm, ‘I’m working on it.’

‘Then so are we.’

The other girl’s offer nothing more to the conversation so they move on, eating and drinking together, just existing in another night on this  _ not so shitty  _ island.

_ The days from that point pass the same, Toni and Shelby would march up the mountain, sketch up another part of the island, share some conversation or a kiss and return to camp. _

On their final trip up the mountain, only the east-most region left to sketch, Shelby tries to offer up a little more truth about herself.

’Toni?’ She asks.

‘Yeah? What’s up?’ The girl returns, pen in hand as she sketches a little more of what she was working on.

‘Can I tell you something and you’ll promise not to judge?’ She asks, twirling her fingers together and looking anywhere but at Toni.

She hears the pen hit the notebook before it’s set on the ground, ‘Sounds serious, this here dirt mountain is completely judgement-free, dirt doesn’t judge and I don’t either.’

‘It’s easier to show,’ Shelby admits nervously, taking the deepest breath possible before removing her artificial teeth.

‘Before you say anything, I know, wow, gross, but I’ve seen you watch me leave the camp by myself and it was to wash this, I didn’t want to just tell everyone but with you I thought-‘

_ She knew she was rambling, she should stop, she didn’t know how to stop, trying to say anything to get Toni to keep liking her _

She feels Toni’s hand in her own, ‘Hey, hey, relax, I’m not here to judge, and here I thought I was the one always freaking out.’

She sighed, holding it in her hand still before sitting next to the girl, ‘I’ve just, never had a response that wasn’t judgement, I didn’t tell a single person that wasn’t my family.’

‘Glad I’m here then, to listen when you’ve listened to me.’

_ For the rest of their time on the mountain, Shelby kept them out, let her smile be on display when she laughed at one of Toni’s terrible attempts at mapping out certain areas and not once did she feel judged. _

She could get used to this. Toni offered her silence in her fear but yet freedom the moment she wanted to share, claiming ‘ _ I will shout my gay feelings from the top of this mountain Shelbs, bet on it.’ _

_ It was nice for a while before another two bags showed up on the island and shouting ensued. _

‘I don’t trust you Shelby!’ Leah shouts out, being held back only by a panicking Fatin, her arms tightly around the girl’s chest.

‘There’s something fucked up about this whole thing and you’re always disappearing at random times don’t who knows what, we run out of meds and you conveniently find a bag full of it?  _ I don’t trust you.’ _

_ ‘I’m not some spy Leah,  _ you think I want to be here, you think I’d force us,  _ force myself to stay  _ if that was the case?’

She felt ready to dive at the girl, or cry, she wasn’t sure which one, knowing the girl wanted to do the same.

‘Do you want the truth?’ Shelby grit out, balling her hands into fists, only un-balling one of them at the feeling of one of Toni’s hands on her own, a concerned look covering the other girl’s face.

_ It was grounding to have her by her side,  _ ‘It was for this,’ she cries, pulling her artificial teeth out, ‘Some of my teeth are fake okay and if there’s one thing I thought I had left here it was dignity, dignity to wash it in privacy,  _ just that one small thing out of all of this mess.’ _

‘I-,’ Leah started looking shocked at her words, ‘I didn’t know.’

‘I didn’t want any of you to know, but it’s out, that’s my only secret, no spying, nothing, just  _ this.’ _

_ She couldn’t handle it any longer,  _ their stares, to her hand, to her face, looking at her, watching her,  _ it felt exactly like every other time she had shared this,  _ except for with Toni.

_ She could only storm off, away from them all, just a moment of peace. _

She’d gotten a reasonable distance away from them until she heard a voice slip through, ‘Hey, hey, Shelbs, wait up!’

_ Toni, she followed her, not like Leah, not stalking her, she knew that it was just because she cared. _

‘Toni,’ she offers.

‘I believe you,’ Toni starts, ‘There’s no way you’re behind this mess, you’re too good, too understanding, wanting us to survive, me,  _ useless me,  _ to survive.’

Shelby gives a weak smile at that, putting her teeth back in, ‘You’re the opposite of useless, you helped with that map, and more than that, you listened to me in a world where so few have.’

She reached a hand out after that, feeling Toni’s hand immediately slide into hers, ‘Where to pretty island tour guide?’

‘I don’t have the map,’ Shelby sighed, ‘We should probably just return.’

Toni squeezes her hand, ’You mean to tell me you haven’t got that memorised after staring at it for a week?’

She laughs at the comment, ‘And you have?’

‘Well guess I’m the pretty island tour guide now,’ Toni grins, stepping in front of Shelby and waving her hand dramatically, ‘Welcome to the tour, if you look to your left you’ll notice a whole lot of nothing and trees, trees that do nothing.’

By the end of Toni’s ridiculous tour Shelby’s face started to hurt from smiling and laughing so much, ‘I think you could really sell this island to a bunch of trapped girls, just a hey you’re trapped by at least we have mud you can sink in.’

Toni laughter brought the smile right back on her face, she hadn’t heard it much since they’d got trapped here but god did she want to hear it again and again.

They started to make their way back to camp and just as the started to get close, Toni stopped them.

‘Why’d we stop?’ She asks.

‘There’s something important I almost forgot to do,’ Toni responds, spinning around to face Shelby.

‘Oh what’s tha-‘ Her words are cut off by Toni’s lips against her own.

Toni pulls her firm against her, running her hands through Shelby’s hair, ’This is what I forgot, but, well, more than that, I have a question.’

‘What is it?’ She questions, tilting her head at Toni, admiring the slight redness to her lips after the kiss they’d shared.

‘If you’d be mine, like, officially, in a girlfriend sort of way?’

_ Girlfriend? She never thought in her life that she’d call or… get to call another girl her girlfriend, she wanted it desperately, wanted it with Toni,  _ ‘I want it, yes, I want you, please.’

‘Good,  _ good,  _ I’m happy this is good,’ Toni responds awkwardly, rubbing the back of her neck.

Shelby leans forward and kisses her again, short and brief but full of the feeling of kissing someone that was now hers.

‘How was that? Good?’ she asks, a playful smile on her face.

‘Yeah,  _ yeah, it’s good,  _ shit, I’m saying that a lot but I didn’t know if you would say yes and you did so good, nice, power to us.’

_ The laughter comes easily as it has started to when she’s with Toni,  _ ‘Glad we agree.’

When they returned to camp it was hand in hand and not a single girl questioned it, an apologetic look on Leah’s face and a knowing smile on Fatin’s. The rest of the girls chatting amongst each other as if nothing had changed.

_ Maybe they’d all be okay. _

In the next week, they’re separated once more, the map finished and tasks becoming easier once they all had started to get some more direction on where they were on the island.

At the end of the day, while the sun was still, Shelby would still leave alone, not needing the privacy to clean, despite them knowing, just relishing in her own company, in silence,  _ a strange and new thing for her. _

On Wednesday, Toni stops her with a hand on her arm, ‘Can I come with you?’

She taps her hand against her thigh as she contemplates it, ‘Do you really want to, Toni? There’s nothing great about this whole thing.’

She sees the way Toni frowns, looking ready to argue, to speak louder than she should,  _ anger at struggling to explain it,  _ ‘I just-‘ she pauses, taking a steadying breath, ‘I just want to spend more time with you.’

‘Oh,’ Shelby responds

‘Yeah,  _ oh,  _ I know it’s lame and maybe weird but I’ve kind of missed you? Even though you were right there,’ Toni speaks, looking down and kicking at a stone in the sand.

‘I get it,’ Shelby admits, looking directly at the other girl, ‘I’ve been missing you too.’

She offers out her hand to Toni, giving her a chance to follow her through the points she didn’t like about herself, ‘Come with me?’

A small smile makes it way onto Toni’s face as the girl loosely grabs her hand, the tension still in her shoulder,  _ she was still fighting that anger, for her, it was nice to see her try. _

They walk to the water Fatin had found those weeks ago, Shelby filling one of the drink bottles she’d brought with her and starting to pour it over it on the bank.

Toni’s the one that speaks up, looking over at Shelby as she begins to dangle her legs in the water and kick, ‘Is it ever uncomfortable, you know, like, wearing that?’

She sighs, ‘A little, but, I’d prefer this discomfort over the embarrassment that comes with not wearing it.’

Another frown,  _ the girl always questioning her words when it was anything but anger,  _ ‘You don’t… have to wear it around me, I’d still think you’re pretty.’

‘I appreciate the thought, but, there’s not really anywhere I could put it safely down here, you know? Not like the mountain.’

Toni gives the water another few kicks, ‘It doesn’t have to be now, maybe after all of this?’

Shelby finds herself copying the motions dropping her feet into the water next to Toni’s own, ‘You think we’ll get off this island?’

She feels Toni’s hand placed on top of her own, ‘You don’t?’

She holds that hand as tightly as she can in turn, ‘We’ve been here for a while Toni, what if the people we love aren’t even looking?’

‘I don’t really have anyone but Martha and her family and they’d look for her no matter what, and you, someone’s got to look out for you, even your crappy Dad has got to care that much.’

‘You’re right, I’m just… scared?’ She contemplates on the word,  _ scared,  _ but this time not because of love but  _ the loss of it, the loss of all of this. _

Toni wraps an arm around her shoulder, pulling her close and leaning her head atop of Shelby’s own, ‘Me too, I know it doesn’t seem like it but, I’m fucking terrified, and I yell and shout and get angry when I do.’

She feels the press of a kiss against her forehead from Toni, ‘I’ve got you, you’ve got me, and we’ve got all of those wild disasters back there too.’ 

Shelby feels it before she hears it, a bubble of laughter from the other girl, ‘So I’m going to get off of this island and eat whatever the hell I want, maybe Takis, and I’m taking your ass with me.’

_ She can’t help but laugh in return,  _ ‘How about anything but Takis?’

_ A grin,  _ ‘I guess I could try.’

When they get back to camp and lie down, it’s beside each other, arms intertwined and feeling each other’s warmth and safety.  _ This island was an absolute nightmare but Toni wasn’t. _

_ They’d all formed a steady rhythm in their days.  _ Fatin would tease Leah affectionately, Leah eventually burning that book while Fatin held her close.

Rachel started to swim again, only for a few minutes at a time, a smile on her face the whole way.

Martha found companionship in Rachel, the two actually discussing the things they loved together, their friendship was unexpected but mostly stable.

Dot would always end up being dragged into Fatin and Leah’s bubble, joining in on their laughter, looking like she was finally free from whatever had her looking so lost in the first week.

_ Nora was always alone.  _ She’d perform tasks, she’d talk but… never really got close to anyone but Rachel, always with that notebook close to her chest.  _ Maybe she just didn’t want to let anyone in, just as scared as the rest of them, Shelby for once, refused to pry. _

There was something odd about her. But, maybe Nora was just like this, cagey, Rachel didn’t seem worried, so why should she.

_ She should have been worried. _

Leah was still suspicious and no matter how much Fatin or Dot tried to calm her down, her anger wouldn’t simmer,  _ letting it fester. _

Shelby could see the way Toni cringed at every outburst, the way she dug her hands into her pants, jaw locked, trying to stop herself from yelling back,  _ It’s one thing I’m good at,  _ Toni had told her one day,  _ Just… yelling. _

The day went on, Shelby assigned to a task with Leah, collecting food, it didn’t take long for Shelby to lose Leah, dropping the food she was carrying in her panic at the girl no longer being behind her.

‘Leah?’ She shouted out reflectively.  _ No response. Shit. Shit. Shit. _

Shelby breaks herself into a sprint, running towards the camp, ‘Leah- Leah’s missing, she was behind me and I-‘

_ Nora wasn’t there. _

‘Where’s Nora?’ She finds herself asking instead.

‘Collecting some wood for the fire,’ Fatin replies, a frown on her face, ‘Why?’

‘Leah’s missing, she could be too, or they’re together, I don’t know,  _ I don’t know.’ _

‘Hey, it’s okay Shelbs,’ Toni offers, moving towards her and pulling her against her chest, ‘We’ll find them both, it’s not your fault.’

_ She might be in love with Toni, she thought,  _ the feeling of being in her arms each time she started to become afraid was soothing,  _ Toni quickly became her constant, ready for her at each turn. _

_ They had to find Leah and Nora first. _

The girl’s set out, through the woods, it’s not long before they hear Leah’s shouts, all rushing towards her.

_ There she was… in a hole? Since when did this island have randomly placed sinkholes? _

They all make quick work to reach down and pull her out of it, the scratches and cuts on her visible from what could only be multiple attempts to escape by herself.

‘You  _ heard, you came, you came,’  _ she sobbed out in Fatin’s arms, Dot a comforting hand on the girl’s shoulder.

‘Okay, fuck, this is messed up,’ Toni huffs out, staring at the hole in disgust, ‘How the hell did you end up leaving Shelby and falling into a massive hole?’

‘Fucking Nora,’ Leah spits out, gathering herself out of Fatin and Dot’s arms and standing back up.

‘Nora?’ Rachel said in disbelief, ‘You’re telling me my sister did this to you?’

‘I know hearing your sister did this is shit but I’m not  _ crazy,  _ none of us are, we were put on this island for some weird-ass reason and Nora knows, she been talking to them, I’ve seen it.’

‘Bullshit,’ Rachel hisses out, ‘ _ Bullshit.’ _

_ Everything from that point is a blur, yelling, a missing Nora, secrets, truths, injuries, loss, nothing felt real, except for Toni. _

They saw boats soon after that, people coming to rescue them,  _ She didn’t believe it, knew the rest of the girls didn’t either. _

But they all cried real tears when they were filtered onto that boat,  _ though Shelby didn’t remember ever getting off it, just waking in a darkened room. _

Nothing about this was right and each day she was at that facility, a mantra, a motivation, to eat those shitty Takis with Toni and find the truth with the girls she'd begun to call family.


End file.
